Sunnyvale, CA -> God's Country
2005年 05月 06日
For those of you that missed the memo, it's officially time to STOP bitching about the rainy weather. After all, Sunnyvale is "God's Country" and this is all part of the master plan. That's right - it's not Shallow Alto or Mountain Spew (although they receive some divine run-off from the promised land). If you've ever driven south down Central Expressway, noticed Del Monte's giant fruit can tower, and NOT realized that it's the epicenter of the known universe... well then we all pray for you.
What? You need further guidance? Well then just lend me your ear, brother, and allow me to enumerate just a paltry list:
1. Does your town have a haunted Toy's R Us and a documented Alien abduction?
2. How about a hookah bar?
3. Alright, so your schlub-burg has got some decent Indian grub. Big voop. But what about a cricket club ? (heh, knew it.)
4. Kneel before our Fry's! Our Fry's kicks your fry's ASS!
5. Even the Czech Republic has plans to invade us.
You need more? Don't take my word for it - check out what Bathsheba has to say. Better yet, let me just paraphrase:
The ultimate proof?
GLOSSY CAVED NUN'S URN TOY = SUNNYVALE GOD'S COUNTRY
I'm already getting tired of trying to convince you people...